不在火上加油

15 Jan 2014 by Lim Poh Ann-

 

我们该如何缓和争执中的紧张气氛?

意见分歧和争论往往会导致人的情绪失控。除了以凶神恶煞的眼神目瞪着对方,甚至有些人会用如剑似的言语来伤害对方。我们该如何避免这种极具潜能的“地雷暴发区域”呢?

 

1. 让自己沉浸饱足於从上神而来的智慧

 

 

image6

 

至于从天上来的智慧,首先是纯洁的,其次是和平的,没有偏袒,没有虚伪。

(雅各书 3:17)

 

自我省察是非常有帮助的:我们是否缺乏从神而来的智慧呢?拥有从神而来的智慧能帮助我们避免牵制於争执的紧张情绪。

 

2. 止于源头

 

shakehands_sxc

 

纷争的开始,如同决堤的水;所以在争执发生以前,就要制止。 (箴言 17:14)

 

若你发现某个意见分歧将是没完没了的,甚至是双方都不愿意允许相互让步的余地,赶紧离开以免事情继续恶化。

 

3. 以柔和的方式应对

 

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柔和的回答使烈怒消退,

暴戾的话激动怒气。

智慧人的舌头阐扬知识;

愚昧人的口发出愚妄。

耶和华的眼目无所不在;

坏人好人他都鉴察。

说安慰话的舌头是生命树;

奸恶的舌头使人心碎。

(箴言 15:1-4)

 

当我们向对方表达自己的意见时,说话的声量和语调是非常重要的。

 

4. 说声抱歉

 

Business-meeting

 

若我们无法遵循上述的情况并对于情绪失控时,我们应该向对方道歉。当我们需要承认自己得罪了对方时是极需谦卑的。

 

神抵挡骄傲的人,赐恩给谦卑的人。

(雅各书 4:6)

使人和平的人有福了,因为他们必称为神的儿子。

(马太福音 5:9)

 

180_Where-Does-Water-Come-From_small

 

相关文章

DISAGREEING WITH GRACE

How can we be positive about disagreement?

http://bit.ly/1f0Rqav

 

UNITY vs TRUTH

While it is important to be humble and tolerant to get along well with others, we should not compromise the truth for the sake of unity. 

http://bit.ly/1f0RuXH

 

WINNING THE BATTLE, LOSING THE WAR

We also need to remember that one may win an argument but it is useless if one loses a long-term relationship.

http://bit.ly/1fbQr80

 

Note: Dr Lim Poh Ann is a medical practitioner. He was the former editor of Asian Beacon magazine (December 2008 – October 2011).

 

Source:

Porridge For The Soul By Dr Lim Poh Ann

http://limpohann.blogspot.com/

http://limpohann.blogspot.com/2013/12/stop-adding-fuel-to-fire.html

 

Disclaimer: The views or opinions expressed by the columnists are solely their own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of Christianity Malaysia.com 

 

Note: This article was translated by Joycelyn Loh in Christianity Malaysia (CM).Amen.

 

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References for pictures:

http://sourcesofinsight.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/image6.png

http://cdn1.independent.ie/migration_catalog/Non-Staff/article25081308.ece/ALTERNATES/h342/shakehands_sxc

http://www.publiseek.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Business-meeting.jpg

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lze8vjWQkQ1qkynm4.jpg

http://s3.amazonaws.com/production.mediajoint.prx.org/public/piece_images/185063/180_WhereDoes-Water-Come-From_small.jpg

 

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